This entry has nothing to do with KZ's song. This is about how I feel. Something about my fears.
For a couple of weeks now, I have been hearing stories about 'hold-ups'. In this city, The Queen City of South, that shit is actually just a normal shit. People here are cautious about being robbed. They know what to do when someone's crying out for help because of being held up.
That's the best thing to do. You ignore and let the criminal do his thing. It's better that way than putting your own life at risk. Yes. Robbers here are just so confident to kill if you, the victim, will not give your bag (for example). And if you try to help their victim, prepare yourself to be a victim, too!
One morning, around 2:00, my roommate was running home, calling out my name before reaching the main gate of our 'house' expecting me to still be awake. As soon as I heard my name, I stood up and I opened the door for her.
She was catching her breath, teary eyes, and she looked frightened. Before I was able to ask her what happened, she opened her mouth and said "gi hold up ko". A big guy held her neck, took her bag, and pushed her down. In her bag were her phone, tab, wallet and all her important documents. When she told me what exactly happened to her, I felt helpless and frightened as well.
You might say that the good thing about it is that only her things were taken, not her life. How can that be so pacifying if, aside from you literally have nothing left, that traumatic experience will keep on flashing back in your head?
Yes. I am scared. Scared to death.
What if that happens to me? To whom will I run? How should I react? What if...
Negativity, that's what you might say. Well, that's POSSIBILITY for me.
And again, I was reminded how good my life was, how blessed I was having the chance living with my family, and how safe I was before I went out from my comfort zone.
I am scared. Scared to death. But that doesn't mean I am giving up. Coming here, I guess, was the best decision I have ever made.
I am scared. I know I should not be. I am scared. I know I will not be.