Syota ng Iba

Mahirap talaga magmahal ng syota ng iba.

Ang linyang yan ay napaka popular sa bansa. Isang linyang makatotohanan. Isang linyang nagpapaala na hindi madali magmahal ng syota ng iba.
Ngunit bakit ba, sa dinamidami ng tao sa mundo, dun ka pa maiinlab sa taong iba ang gusto? Siguro kaya nauso ang The Mistress, A Secret Affair, No Other Woman, Two Wives, etc., kasi eto yung isa sa mga katotohanan sa ating lipunan na pilit nating tinatago.

Pero teka, MAHIRAP BA TALAGA MAGMAHAL NG SYOTA NG IBA?

Ayon sa aking obserbasyon, hindi naman. Kung may syota, asawa, o live-in partner pa yan, basta may gusto din sayo, hindi mahirap mahalin yan. Alam mo yung mahirap? Yung darating ang pagkakataong kailangan na nyang mamili kung sino sa inyong dalawa ang titirahin nya. I mean, pipiliin nya. Mahirap kasi alam mong hindi ikaw ang pipiliin. Swerte ka kung ikaw, pero sa umpisa pa lang, alam mo na talaga kung ano ang mangyayari. Mahirap din yan, kasi alam na alam mong sobrang sakit nyan. Siguro masaya ka pagmagkasama kayo, eh pano kung sila na ang nagsama, sasaya ka pa ba? At kung ano ang mangyari, may karapatan ka bang ipaglaban ang nararamdaman mo sa kanya? Wala. WALAAAA! (strong mode)

May kakilala ako. Itago natin sya sa pangalang Aryana. Si Aryana ay isang babaeng napakasensitibo sa kanyang nararamdaman. Isang araw, may nakilala syang isang lalaking matipuno, mabait, at napaka gentleman. Sya si Ironman. Halos araw-araw silang magkasama. Sa opisina, sa mall, sa park, at kung saan-saan. Alam ni Aryana na may ibang gusto si Ironman. GUSTO-hindi asawa, hindi syota. Wala lang din daw kasi kay Aryana si Ironman. Habang tumatagal, mas lumalalim ang pagsasamahan nila. Hanggang sa nahulong ng tuluyan si Aryana. Hindi sya nakapagpigil, ayun at sinabi nya kay Ironman ang tunay nitong nararamdaman. Nung nalaman na ni Ironman, parang wala lang. Parang 'ah..ok'. Ibigsabihin, hindi bet ni lalake si babae. Tinanggap ito ni Aryana ng buong puso. Hanggang magkaibigan lang sila. At dahil ayaw nilang dalawa na mahulog pa ng husto ang babae, eh di na sila nagkikita.Hanggang sa isang masayang araw para kay Aryana, nasa dalampasigan sya't nakikipaglaro sa mga alon, nalaman nyang nagsasama na pala si Ironman at yung taong gusto nya. Teka, pano nya nalaman? Siguro dahil sa isa nyang kaibigang isda. Di na importante yun! Basta, nalaman na nya.

Tumakbo ng tumakbo itong si Aryana na parang nagfu-fun-run lang. Ganyan sya magwala. Tumatakbo. Nadapa sya't umiyak. Hindi naman daw pagseselos ang nararamdaman nya. Masakit lang daw kasi hindi sya pinili. Masakit daw kasi naaawa sya sa sarili nya. Ako rin, naawa sa kanya.

Kasalanan din naman nya eh. Kasi alam nyang masasaktan sya, bat pa nya hinayaan ang sarili nyang mahulog kay lalake? Eh kasi uso? Uso din pala masaktan ngayon eh, noh?

Sana yung gusto ni Ironman, walang ibang gusto para di nya maramdaman ang sakit na idinulot nito kay Aryana.

Dadagdagan ko na lang yung unang linya.

Mahirap, masakit, katangahan, at suicide ang magmahal ng syota ng iba. Bow.
https://www.facebook.com/notes/donc-patru/syota-ng-iba/10151176441424633

Moved on

I fell in love many times. Hurt many times. Moved on many times.

She taught me things that I did not expect I'm capable of learning about: loving less of yourself. From the very first day we met, until the last day that we were together, I never felt that I am nothing to her. Everyday was something to look forward to. A day of love, friendship and affection.

We shared things that only the two of us knew. She told me that she will stay with me FOREVER. And if the time comes that she needs to go, she'd be staying in my heart. That's what she meant with forever. Now, that forever has ended. Those moments that we were no longer together were so painful. I can't sleep, can't focus, can't see the beauty of the world. She left me with a bigger purpose. She left me to follow the steps of God. WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE HER STAY? Wala akong panlaban. She left me without closing what has been opened. Tulala. Iyak. Those were my hobbies when I was still feeling the pain. But now, I have finally moved on. I don't think of her [not until now]. I don't wish to be with her again. I don't wish her to be back.

BUT WHAT IF...

What if she'll be back and say that she wants me back? OOOPS. Never thought of that. Hmmm... I'll think about it, huh? :D

I was so busy looking for that feeling again. Desperate I was, I tried to look for it to anybody who has passed along my way. PAK! I realized that it is something that should not be chased. It comes in its own time.

True enough, I met another her. Another her that made me feel sooooo special. That she wanted to be with me everyday of her life. We used to go to church together, nood sine, eat, sleep [oops] and do a lot of things together. We share a lot of things in common. But we also have a lot of differences yet we managed to stay in love with each other. Not until..

Not until the another her felt the opposite. She felt no love at all. She now looks at me as her bestfriend. Not a lover. AND WHERE THE HELL HER LOVE WENT?

Now, we still do the things we used to do. We still go to church, nood sine, eat, sleep [oops again] together... PERO wala na si ROMANTIC LOVE. Wala na yung AFFECTION. Wala na yung feeling na gusto ka nyang makasama. The feeling of being needed is now lost.

I fell inlove. I was hurt. And I have not yet moved on. [letting time heal]