Sunday, April 14, 2013


I wander together with reflection
And think how can we savor the moment
Thinking about our ambition
To become the person we want in our own sentiment

We sometimes feel solitary
Because no one else chose to stay
Then look back and see our story
Remembering the people who stood with us along the way

We are never sad, just lonely
Dealing with each other is never easy
We close our eyes and see what's within carefully
Melancholy's felt through insanity

I'm thankful because he's with me now
He never leaves me because he's my partner
He's my other half - we don't need a vow
He is me. My reflection. My shadow. My lover.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Myth Reid

We'll always have new friends. But real friends come unexpectedly.

I got a friend who inspires me to write despite my not-so-good writing talent. He is the one and only and the almost famous Myth Reid.

I think I already asked him what his screen name really means but I just don't remember. If I would see a Julius Amora Villacorta (which happens to be his real name. LOL) in Facebook or Twitter, I wouldn't know that it is him.

I must admit! I am a fan of this little boy's big talent in literature. How he puts his thoughts into writing and how he makes his readers feel what exactly he wants them to feel are just awesome.

As what he mentioned in his entry about me, he is my close friend's cousin. And yes, when we (our barkada) visit their place, he locks himself in his room as if he's not allowed to mingle with us. He just chose not to befriends with us because... I don't know. Maybe we were too loud for him. Or 'twas his opportunity to do the things that he normally does when alone in his room. If you know what I mean.

September of 2012, we finally became teammates. And our #UbusanNgYaman friendship started. There were times that we'll go to Abreeza or Gmall with our other colleagues to make ubos of our yamans. Haha. Ang arte-arte! Nakakagalit!

Working with him was really good because he always initiates for a teambuilding. Well, just initiates. Haha. During breaks, we gather to talk about random things.. and random people. Most of the time, we talk about people we don't like. There were also times that we just let the caller wait on the line while we chat. He is a great teammate except that sitting with him did not work for us. He is an irate agent. So am I. Just imagine two agents shouting at their stupid customers at the same time.

We also had sharing moments together over a cup of coffee (Starbucks- favorite place) or over bottles of Redhorse. I shared some of my thoughts about some things. He did the same thing. He also told me a lotta stories about his life. Even those not so good stories were told. He trusted me. Because I am trustworthy. Chos.

Sometimes, when he speaks, you wouldn't think that he is just 19 years old. GOD! He is so smart. Smarter than me! (Yes na lang ko kay para mani sa iya). He got more wisdom than I do.Though there are times that he acts very childish, but he's getting over it. Or he already got over it.

He would also tell me about his crushes, about his ULTIMATE crushes and so much more! What's unforgettable about him? It's the BUDOY thing! It's unlikely to share this funny thing here and if I do, he will definitely kill me!

Julius (pronounced as jill-yes) is a very deep person. If he doesn't like you, he wouldn't waste a little shit talking to you. He could be mean at times, but he really doesn't mean it. He might be feeling bad when he's mean.

When you become fair to others, you become unfair to yourself - this is what he always reminds me when we talk about serious things. Again, he got more wisdom than I do.

He's not just a close friend's cousin to me, not just a workmate. He is a real friend in an unexpected time.

check his entry for me! :)

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Scared To Death

This entry has nothing to do with KZ's song. This is about how I feel. Something about my fears.

For a couple of weeks now, I have been hearing stories about 'hold-ups'. In this city, The Queen City of South, that shit is actually just a normal shit. People here are cautious about being robbed. They know what to do when someone's crying out for help because of being held up.


That's the best thing to do. You ignore and let the criminal do his thing. It's better that way than putting your own life at risk. Yes. Robbers here are just so confident to kill if you, the victim, will not give your bag (for example). And if you try to help their victim, prepare yourself to be a victim, too!

One morning, around 2:00, my roommate was running home, calling out my name before reaching the main gate of our 'house' expecting me to still be awake. As soon as I heard my name, I stood up and I opened the door for her.

She was catching her breath, teary eyes, and she looked frightened. Before I was able to ask her what happened, she opened her mouth and said "gi hold up ko". A big guy held her neck, took her bag, and pushed her down. In her bag were her phone, tab, wallet and all her important documents. When she told me what exactly happened to her, I felt helpless and frightened as well.

You might say that the good thing about it is that only her things were taken, not her life. How can that be so pacifying if, aside from you literally have nothing left, that traumatic experience will keep on flashing back in your head?

Yes. I am scared. Scared to death.

What if that happens to me? To whom will I run? How should I react? What if...

Negativity, that's what you might say. Well, that's POSSIBILITY for me.

And again, I was reminded how good my life was, how blessed I was having the chance living with my family, and how safe I was before I went out from my comfort zone.

I am scared. Scared to death. But that doesn't mean I am giving up. Coming here, I guess, was the best decision I have ever made.

I am scared. I know I should not be. I am scared. I know I will not be.


Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Maligayang Puso Po!

[Background music: On My Own]

Valentine's Day na naman. Hearts dito, flowers doon. Maraming masayang tao, pero marami din ang medyo di natutuwa sa mga ganitong panahon.

Oo nga naman. Sino ba naman ang sasaya kung ang mga mahal mo sa buhay ay masayang nagseCelebrate ng araw na ito kasama ang mga partners nila sa buhay, tapos ikaw, nganga?! Pero yun yung point eh. May mga MAHAL KA SA BUHAY, kaya walang rason para mag emote ka ng kung anu-ano dahil lang single ka.

Valentine's Day po. Hindi po Araw ng mga TAKEN. Kasi kung ganon, dapat TAKEN'S DAY, diba? [medyo korni]. Haha. May nabasa nga akong Facebook post... Ansabe.. "kung single ka, wag kang malungkot. Isipin mo na lang yung mga walang nanay noong Mothers' Day" Tama nga naman. May mas mga mabibigat na problema pa ang lipunan [pati ikaw] na mas dapat pagtuonan ng pansin.

Para sa mga SINGLE, hindi pa katapusan ng mundo. Pwede mo pa rin naman iCelebrate ang araw na to sa ibat-ibang paraan. Huwag ka lang mag las-las. 

Para sa mga TAKEN, mga kaibigan, ARAW NG MGA PUSO. Hindi ng mga BUTO. -Just a friendly reminder.

Ang araw na ito ay para sa mga nagmamahal. Mahal ko ang mga kaibiga't pamilya ko, kaya magseCelebrate ako ngayon.

Magandang umaga :)

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

LIFE OF PI [flashback]

PS: I just want to let my emotions out. I was really moved by the movie. And sorry for any errors that you may see :)

At first, before the movie started, I thought it's all about Pi's adventure with a tiger in the ocean. Well, the movie is more than that.

Pi tells a story to a writer. He starts his story with his childhood. How he was bullied because of his real name (Piscine), how he knew Christ and Allah, how he was as a son.

He then continues with his teenage life when he first met this young lady who took his heart away and why they needed to go separate ways. Pi and his family needed to leave India because Pi's father had to bring their animals (they own a zoo) to a different country. There, the tragic started. The ship that they were using sank. Pi was able to transfer to a lifeboat. So he survived (given the fact that he was a well-trained swimmer)

He was with different animals in the lifeboat, but due to hunger, all of the animals died except for Richard Parker, the tiger.

Pi gives an emphasis on his life with the tiger. He shares the story of how they fought for territory, for food, and for shelter. This is the highlight of the movie. The effects, the scenes, the emotions. At first, Pi did not want the tiger to stay until the tiger jumped off the lifeboat to catch fishes for food, and he was not able to get back to the boat so Pi help Richard Parker to get back to his life...boat. He also tried to catch fishes for the tiger. In other words, he took care of the tiger until they finally landed in a jungle where the tiger left him. There, Pi was recovered.

He ends his story by saying that there were Japanese who went to the place where he rested after being recovered. The Japanese interviewed him of what happened. He told the Japanese a different story: a story that is realistic so that they will believe in it and will stop them from asking him couple of questions more.

Pi was not able to say goodbye to his family and to Richard Parker. He said that it hurts the most when you are not able to take a moment in saying goodbye which is really true. It's hard to move on from something that has not been closed yet. [ahw?]

In the movie, the writer waits for Pi to convince him that God exists since that's one of the reason why Pi was telling him that story. Pi did not convince him at all. He just said that he was able to share two stories. Then he asked the writer which one does he prefer. The writer said that the better story is the one with the tiger. Pi then said 'and so it goes with God'.

This line actually let me think for a moment. According to my understanding, Pi wants the writer to understand that the world has a lot of gods. And he wants the writer to live with the god that he prefers because we can't prove things like that. Like him, he can't prove to the writer that his story is true. [which gives me an idea that Pi did not experience everything that he has told. He mentioned that he lied to the Japanese by telling a different story so that they will believe in it. Same is true with the story he made for the writer-he told him that story so that the writer will believe that god exists]

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Syota ng Iba

Mahirap talaga magmahal ng syota ng iba.

Ang linyang yan ay napaka popular sa bansa. Isang linyang makatotohanan. Isang linyang nagpapaala na hindi madali magmahal ng syota ng iba.
Ngunit bakit ba, sa dinamidami ng tao sa mundo, dun ka pa maiinlab sa taong iba ang gusto? Siguro kaya nauso ang The Mistress, A Secret Affair, No Other Woman, Two Wives, etc., kasi eto yung isa sa mga katotohanan sa ating lipunan na pilit nating tinatago.


Ayon sa aking obserbasyon, hindi naman. Kung may syota, asawa, o live-in partner pa yan, basta may gusto din sayo, hindi mahirap mahalin yan. Alam mo yung mahirap? Yung darating ang pagkakataong kailangan na nyang mamili kung sino sa inyong dalawa ang titirahin nya. I mean, pipiliin nya. Mahirap kasi alam mong hindi ikaw ang pipiliin. Swerte ka kung ikaw, pero sa umpisa pa lang, alam mo na talaga kung ano ang mangyayari. Mahirap din yan, kasi alam na alam mong sobrang sakit nyan. Siguro masaya ka pagmagkasama kayo, eh pano kung sila na ang nagsama, sasaya ka pa ba? At kung ano ang mangyari, may karapatan ka bang ipaglaban ang nararamdaman mo sa kanya? Wala. WALAAAA! (strong mode)

May kakilala ako. Itago natin sya sa pangalang Aryana. Si Aryana ay isang babaeng napakasensitibo sa kanyang nararamdaman. Isang araw, may nakilala syang isang lalaking matipuno, mabait, at napaka gentleman. Sya si Ironman. Halos araw-araw silang magkasama. Sa opisina, sa mall, sa park, at kung saan-saan. Alam ni Aryana na may ibang gusto si Ironman. GUSTO-hindi asawa, hindi syota. Wala lang din daw kasi kay Aryana si Ironman. Habang tumatagal, mas lumalalim ang pagsasamahan nila. Hanggang sa nahulong ng tuluyan si Aryana. Hindi sya nakapagpigil, ayun at sinabi nya kay Ironman ang tunay nitong nararamdaman. Nung nalaman na ni Ironman, parang wala lang. Parang 'ah..ok'. Ibigsabihin, hindi bet ni lalake si babae. Tinanggap ito ni Aryana ng buong puso. Hanggang magkaibigan lang sila. At dahil ayaw nilang dalawa na mahulog pa ng husto ang babae, eh di na sila nagkikita.Hanggang sa isang masayang araw para kay Aryana, nasa dalampasigan sya't nakikipaglaro sa mga alon, nalaman nyang nagsasama na pala si Ironman at yung taong gusto nya. Teka, pano nya nalaman? Siguro dahil sa isa nyang kaibigang isda. Di na importante yun! Basta, nalaman na nya.

Tumakbo ng tumakbo itong si Aryana na parang nagfu-fun-run lang. Ganyan sya magwala. Tumatakbo. Nadapa sya't umiyak. Hindi naman daw pagseselos ang nararamdaman nya. Masakit lang daw kasi hindi sya pinili. Masakit daw kasi naaawa sya sa sarili nya. Ako rin, naawa sa kanya.

Kasalanan din naman nya eh. Kasi alam nyang masasaktan sya, bat pa nya hinayaan ang sarili nyang mahulog kay lalake? Eh kasi uso? Uso din pala masaktan ngayon eh, noh?

Sana yung gusto ni Ironman, walang ibang gusto para di nya maramdaman ang sakit na idinulot nito kay Aryana.

Dadagdagan ko na lang yung unang linya.

Mahirap, masakit, katangahan, at suicide ang magmahal ng syota ng iba. Bow.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Moved on

I fell in love many times. Hurt many times. Moved on many times.

She taught me things that I did not expect I'm capable of learning about: loving less of yourself. From the very first day we met, until the last day that we were together, I never felt that I am nothing to her. Everyday was something to look forward to. A day of love, friendship and affection.

We shared things that only the two of us knew. She told me that she will stay with me FOREVER. And if the time comes that she needs to go, she'd be staying in my heart. That's what she meant with forever. Now, that forever has ended. Those moments that we were no longer together were so painful. I can't sleep, can't focus, can't see the beauty of the world. She left me with a bigger purpose. She left me to follow the steps of God. WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE HER STAY? Wala akong panlaban. She left me without closing what has been opened. Tulala. Iyak. Those were my hobbies when I was still feeling the pain. But now, I have finally moved on. I don't think of her [not until now]. I don't wish to be with her again. I don't wish her to be back.


What if she'll be back and say that she wants me back? OOOPS. Never thought of that. Hmmm... I'll think about it, huh? :D

I was so busy looking for that feeling again. Desperate I was, I tried to look for it to anybody who has passed along my way. PAK! I realized that it is something that should not be chased. It comes in its own time.

True enough, I met another her. Another her that made me feel sooooo special. That she wanted to be with me everyday of her life. We used to go to church together, nood sine, eat, sleep [oops] and do a lot of things together. We share a lot of things in common. But we also have a lot of differences yet we managed to stay in love with each other. Not until..

Not until the another her felt the opposite. She felt no love at all. She now looks at me as her bestfriend. Not a lover. AND WHERE THE HELL HER LOVE WENT?

Now, we still do the things we used to do. We still go to church, nood sine, eat, sleep [oops again] together... PERO wala na si ROMANTIC LOVE. Wala na yung AFFECTION. Wala na yung feeling na gusto ka nyang makasama. The feeling of being needed is now lost.

I fell inlove. I was hurt. And I have not yet moved on. [letting time heal]