Friday, January 20, 2012

Moved on

I fell in love many times. Hurt many times. Moved on many times.

She taught me things that I did not expect I'm capable of learning about: loving less of yourself. From the very first day we met, until the last day that we were together, I never felt that I am nothing to her. Everyday was something to look forward to. A day of love, friendship and affection.

We shared things that only the two of us knew. She told me that she will stay with me FOREVER. And if the time comes that she needs to go, she'd be staying in my heart. That's what she meant with forever. Now, that forever has ended. Those moments that we were no longer together were so painful. I can't sleep, can't focus, can't see the beauty of the world. She left me with a bigger purpose. She left me to follow the steps of God. WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE HER STAY? Wala akong panlaban. She left me without closing what has been opened. Tulala. Iyak. Those were my hobbies when I was still feeling the pain. But now, I have finally moved on. I don't think of her [not until now]. I don't wish to be with her again. I don't wish her to be back.


What if she'll be back and say that she wants me back? OOOPS. Never thought of that. Hmmm... I'll think about it, huh? :D

I was so busy looking for that feeling again. Desperate I was, I tried to look for it to anybody who has passed along my way. PAK! I realized that it is something that should not be chased. It comes in its own time.

True enough, I met another her. Another her that made me feel sooooo special. That she wanted to be with me everyday of her life. We used to go to church together, nood sine, eat, sleep [oops] and do a lot of things together. We share a lot of things in common. But we also have a lot of differences yet we managed to stay in love with each other. Not until..

Not until the another her felt the opposite. She felt no love at all. She now looks at me as her bestfriend. Not a lover. AND WHERE THE HELL HER LOVE WENT?

Now, we still do the things we used to do. We still go to church, nood sine, eat, sleep [oops again] together... PERO wala na si ROMANTIC LOVE. Wala na yung AFFECTION. Wala na yung feeling na gusto ka nyang makasama. The feeling of being needed is now lost.

I fell inlove. I was hurt. And I have not yet moved on. [letting time heal]