Syota ng Iba

Mahirap talaga magmahal ng syota ng iba.

Ang linyang yan ay napaka popular sa bansa. Isang linyang makatotohanan. Isang linyang nagpapaala na hindi madali magmahal ng syota ng iba.
Ngunit bakit ba, sa dinamidami ng tao sa mundo, dun ka pa maiinlab sa taong iba ang gusto? Siguro kaya nauso ang The Mistress, A Secret Affair, No Other Woman, Two Wives, etc., kasi eto yung isa sa mga katotohanan sa ating lipunan na pilit nating tinatago.

Pero teka, MAHIRAP BA TALAGA MAGMAHAL NG SYOTA NG IBA?

Ayon sa aking obserbasyon, hindi naman. Kung may syota, asawa, o live-in partner pa yan, basta may gusto din sayo, hindi mahirap mahalin yan. Alam mo yung mahirap? Yung darating ang pagkakataong kailangan na nyang mamili kung sino sa inyong dalawa ang titirahin nya. I mean, pipiliin nya. Mahirap kasi alam mong hindi ikaw ang pipiliin. Swerte ka kung ikaw, pero sa umpisa pa lang, alam mo na talaga kung ano ang mangyayari. Mahirap din yan, kasi alam na alam mong sobrang sakit nyan. Siguro masaya ka pagmagkasama kayo, eh pano kung sila na ang nagsama, sasaya ka pa ba? At kung ano ang mangyari, may karapatan ka bang ipaglaban ang nararamdaman mo sa kanya? Wala. WALAAAA! (strong mode)

May kakilala ako. Itago natin sya sa pangalang Aryana. Si Aryana ay isang babaeng napakasensitibo sa kanyang nararamdaman. Isang araw, may nakilala syang isang lalaking matipuno, mabait, at napaka gentleman. Sya si Ironman. Halos araw-araw silang magkasama. Sa opisina, sa mall, sa park, at kung saan-saan. Alam ni Aryana na may ibang gusto si Ironman. GUSTO-hindi asawa, hindi syota. Wala lang din daw kasi kay Aryana si Ironman. Habang tumatagal, mas lumalalim ang pagsasamahan nila. Hanggang sa nahulong ng tuluyan si Aryana. Hindi sya nakapagpigil, ayun at sinabi nya kay Ironman ang tunay nitong nararamdaman. Nung nalaman na ni Ironman, parang wala lang. Parang 'ah..ok'. Ibigsabihin, hindi bet ni lalake si babae. Tinanggap ito ni Aryana ng buong puso. Hanggang magkaibigan lang sila. At dahil ayaw nilang dalawa na mahulog pa ng husto ang babae, eh di na sila nagkikita.Hanggang sa isang masayang araw para kay Aryana, nasa dalampasigan sya't nakikipaglaro sa mga alon, nalaman nyang nagsasama na pala si Ironman at yung taong gusto nya. Teka, pano nya nalaman? Siguro dahil sa isa nyang kaibigang isda. Di na importante yun! Basta, nalaman na nya.

Tumakbo ng tumakbo itong si Aryana na parang nagfu-fun-run lang. Ganyan sya magwala. Tumatakbo. Nadapa sya't umiyak. Hindi naman daw pagseselos ang nararamdaman nya. Masakit lang daw kasi hindi sya pinili. Masakit daw kasi naaawa sya sa sarili nya. Ako rin, naawa sa kanya.

Kasalanan din naman nya eh. Kasi alam nyang masasaktan sya, bat pa nya hinayaan ang sarili nyang mahulog kay lalake? Eh kasi uso? Uso din pala masaktan ngayon eh, noh?

Sana yung gusto ni Ironman, walang ibang gusto para di nya maramdaman ang sakit na idinulot nito kay Aryana.

Dadagdagan ko na lang yung unang linya.

Mahirap, masakit, katangahan, at suicide ang magmahal ng syota ng iba. Bow.
https://www.facebook.com/notes/donc-patru/syota-ng-iba/10151176441424633

Moved on

I fell in love many times. Hurt many times. Moved on many times.

She taught me things that I did not expect I'm capable of learning about: loving less of yourself. From the very first day we met, until the last day that we were together, I never felt that I am nothing to her. Everyday was something to look forward to. A day of love, friendship and affection.

We shared things that only the two of us knew. She told me that she will stay with me FOREVER. And if the time comes that she needs to go, she'd be staying in my heart. That's what she meant with forever. Now, that forever has ended. Those moments that we were no longer together were so painful. I can't sleep, can't focus, can't see the beauty of the world. She left me with a bigger purpose. She left me to follow the steps of God. WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE HER STAY? Wala akong panlaban. She left me without closing what has been opened. Tulala. Iyak. Those were my hobbies when I was still feeling the pain. But now, I have finally moved on. I don't think of her [not until now]. I don't wish to be with her again. I don't wish her to be back.

BUT WHAT IF...

What if she'll be back and say that she wants me back? OOOPS. Never thought of that. Hmmm... I'll think about it, huh? :D

I was so busy looking for that feeling again. Desperate I was, I tried to look for it to anybody who has passed along my way. PAK! I realized that it is something that should not be chased. It comes in its own time.

True enough, I met another her. Another her that made me feel sooooo special. That she wanted to be with me everyday of her life. We used to go to church together, nood sine, eat, sleep [oops] and do a lot of things together. We share a lot of things in common. But we also have a lot of differences yet we managed to stay in love with each other. Not until..

Not until the another her felt the opposite. She felt no love at all. She now looks at me as her bestfriend. Not a lover. AND WHERE THE HELL HER LOVE WENT?

Now, we still do the things we used to do. We still go to church, nood sine, eat, sleep [oops again] together... PERO wala na si ROMANTIC LOVE. Wala na yung AFFECTION. Wala na yung feeling na gusto ka nyang makasama. The feeling of being needed is now lost.

I fell inlove. I was hurt. And I have not yet moved on. [letting time heal]

Kulungan At Kadena

Ang kadena ni Juan ay nakakapit

Hindi sa leeg ngunit sa tenga namimilipit

Hindi sa paa kong aray na aray na sa sakit

Ngunit sa tengang nalalasahan na ang pait.

Maririnig mo ang 'hello' ng ale

Si ale na tila nasa palengke

Si manong nama'y minsa'y napakabingi

Ang kawawang monitor pa ang nasisi

Minsa'y nasasaktan na ang iyong pantog

Dahil ang kadena mo nama'y tumutugtog

Pilit pinipigilan ang ihing pasabog

Dahil si ale nanama'y nang-aalog

Pinapatay ka pa sa oras ng kadena

Kakakapit pa lang, uwian na ang tinitira

Di pa nga nakaka-order si kuya

Anjan na si Juan, nasa utak ay ang pag alis na

Mahirap ang buhay sa loob ng kulungan

Di ka masyadong nakakapag kwentuhan

Sabi ng iba, parang pinapatay ng dahan-dahan

Sabi ko hindi masyado, konti lang naman

Minsan naisip ko na kumawala sa kadena

Di ko na kaya ang aking ginagawa

Ngunit sayang naman ang pera

Na nakukuha ko at gamit pang gala

Para sa iba, ito ay kabuhayan

Binubuhay ang pamilya sa ganitong paraan

Kaya di mo masisisi kung sa kanilang kalagayan

Nakakaya nila upang malagyan ang tyan

Ngayon, pano mo masasabi na walang kwenta

Ang trabaho ni Juan at ng kanyang mga kasama

Kaya mo bang matulog buong umaga

At sa gabi'y bukang-buka ang mga mata?

Hindi naman talaga madali ang buhay

Huwag ka lang magiging matamlay

Sa pagpapatuloy ng iyong paglalakbay

Sa loob o kahit sa labas ng bahay

May kadena ka rin, gaya ni Juan

Meron ka rin ngang sariling kulungan

Kayanin mo iyan kaibigan

Kitakits tayo sa iisang finish-line

I miss her

I fell in love for the first time.

It was a sunny day when I met this person in her school uniform. She passed by. I followed. And I realized that we were in the same room. She was my classmate. We became friends. And...

I fell in love for the second time.

Days have passed and the relationship we had became even deeper. I never had an odd feeling when I was with her. We ate lunch together. We exchange ideas through SMS. We laugh and sing together. She was my closest friend. One day, I woke up thinking about her. And...

I fell in love for the third time.

She never knew that she made me happy every time we were together. She never knew that she was more than a bestfriend. She never knew that I love her.

One day, I came rushing to our room to tell her something about my dream. A not-so-interesting dream. But I was still excited to let her know about that just to have something to talk about. Then I found out that she's gone. She will never be back.

My bestfriend who has been suffering from cancer was not able to survive. My love. My refuge. My comfort. She has gone. And everything for me has gone.

It has been years now since she left. But our memories will stay. She has taught me what love really means. It was painful since I was not able to tell her my deepest feelings to her.

But the memories will last... Untill I fall in love for the last time :'(

[fyi: not a true story]

Ano ngayon?

Hinding-hindi ko kilala kung sino yan si James Soriano. Trending sya ngayon sa twitter dahil sa kanyang artikulo na pinamagatang: Language, learning, identity, privilege. Hindi ko lang lubos maisip kung ano ang mali sa isinulat nya'ng sa aking opinyon ay talagang totoo at riyalistik!

ANO NGAYON?

Ano ngayon kung ganun ang pananaw nya sa buhay? Kasalanan ba nya kung ganun sya pinalaki? Grabe din naman maka react ang iba kase.. parang akala mo'y kilalang-kilala nila si manong Soriano.

ANO NGAYON?

Ano ngayon kung sa tingin nya ang Filipino ay salita sa kalye? Bakit? Di ba totoo? Kung nagkakaroon nga ng pagpupulong-pulong ang mga kongresista, Ingles diba ang ginagamit? Kahit alam nilang lahat sila ay nakakaintindi ng Filipino, ba't Ingless ang ginagamit nila? Si PNoy, nung SONA nya kamakailan, Filipino ang ginamit na wika.. eh, bat parang kinukwestyon ng iilan?

ang sa akin lang: lahat tayo ay may kanya-kanyang preference. Gaya ng mga TV stations, mas gusto ko manood ng ABS kesa sa GMA.. may iilan naman na kabaliktaran sa gusto ko ang pinapanood. May iba, gusto maglakad.. may iba, gusto sumakay. May iba, gusto magluto, may iba gusto kumain sa labas. May iba, gusto sumayaw, may iba gusto kumanta. RESPETO naman sa opinyon ng iba at sa gusto nila. Wag masyadong mag over-react sa mga bagay-bagay.

HAPPY BUWAN NG WIKA :D

the new angle

Months ago since i ended my connection with the Youth Reload. T'wasn't easy leaving them since they became part of my life. But my relationship with God did not end. it was just not as active as before.

I continued my life until...

Until I met the SPOTLIGHTs or Special People Of The Lord In the Grace of His Throne. hmmmm... Unconsciously, I was looking for them. I was looking for people who work for God without giving the it's [members] any pressure. They give freedom.

Love, truthfulness, and happiness are the three words that best describe the said group (for me). And I praise God for the lives of the people who are about to teach me about life. I thank God for giving me people who make me feel loved by God despite all the things Im doing and not doing. I adore God for letting me meet them and encounter Him with them.

to the SPOTLIGHTs, a big THANKS to all of you for accepting me as part of your family :-)

A Friend's Letter

It’s been a while since the last time we talked

About or lives and about everything

I miss the times when together we walk

And sing the song; the song we used to sing

I miss our hilarious laughs, our rudeness

Our fee-fi-fo-fums that complete the day

I miss you, I miss our togetherness

The person who’s been with me all the way

Just want to know what you are going through

Are you in pain or living happily?

My friend, I want to hear more about you

Would you like to waste little time with me?

Let us not forget the past life we had

Let’s put back the persons we used to be

If you’ll say “no” to this then I’ll be sad

I’m reaching out, reach my hand carefully